still here

I just want to write something before this month ends this week.  Last month was super crazy. I won’t go into much details but let’s just say that we have many medical bills heading our way. It was a broken, lost and despairing month. Thanks God that March has been better for us. We did celebrate our 6th anniversary together on March 1st. I had lots of sushi and sashimi on that day. My health overall has been great aside from the infection I had in Feb unrelated to my kidneys. But it has been resolved. The ongoing issue now is with my husband and I pray that God can heal whatever that is causing pain/discomfort in his urinary/reproductive system. We saw a urologist/fertility specialist in Feb and we had all these questions and his answers stemmed from scar tissue from the reversal that my husband had two years ago. We’re not convinced at all, we think this is totally a different problem. They gave him a urine sample and ultrasound test and all came back normal. But because Jason has a history of reversal and prostate problem in the past, they use that as the cause of his pain. The solution? Another reversal. Sorry, no. BTW, Jason later had a semen analysis done and it showed that he had millions of little guys, so definitely not scar tissue.

We’re just so fed up with doctors who aren’t caring and don’t take the time to talk and understand a patient. Thankfully all of my doctors that I have had seem more understanding and caring then Jason’s. We’re going to try again, pray and find a different urologist and hopefully someone who will listen and take the time to examine and figure this one out.

We know that God will get us through it. I’ve been dwelling on this verse a lot. “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Roman 8:28

 

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6th anniversary picture 🙂

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to you, jason

I don’t remember when you asked me to marry you. I do remember when you took my hand and took me to the courthouse. I remember I tried to look nice and peeled off the dead skin on my lips, and it bled profusely! I barely had any hair, it fell out from the treatments. I had swelling on my face and body. I don’t remember anything else but when I had to say I do. To be honest, I wouldn’t change anything about our wedding, where it was held, what I should look or how many people should attend. I’m just thankful that God brought you into my life. Thank you for taking care of me until I have my health back, Jason. I love you so much, my good husband and fishing partner!
Thanks God for blessing us 5 years of a beautiful marriage together! Happy anniversary!

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my good husband (thankful Thursday)

*He wakes up early in the morning with me on the day that I work, warms up my car, packs my lunch, grabs my work bag and shoes together, prays with me and kisses me goodbye for the day.

*He cooks dinner and cleans up when I’m tired.

*He fills up my gas tank every week so that I’ll have a full tank driving to work.

*He makes sure that I eat healthy and exercise.

*He makes homemade coffee rather than buying coffee labeled with partially genetic engineering.

*He makes sure that I carry some cash with me in case of an emergency.

*He cleans the bathroom so that I don’t have to do it.

*He plants food in our garden so that we can eat healthy.

*He takes me fishing.

*He encourages me to pray and read the bible.

*He makes sure I take my meds every morning.

*He fixes my car, cleans the headlights, gets oil change, fixes the windshield wipers, etc.

*He always tells/texts me that he loves me.

*He stands by me when I’m ill and takes care of me until I’m well again.

*He eats whatever food that I cook even the ones that are so bad and to him everything is good.

*He tries to learn my native language so that he can communicate with my parents and the elders at church.

*He takes off his shoes inside the house and bow to the elders.

*He tells me that I’m pretty all the time, although I think it’s a husband thing to say to a wife.

*He listens to me when I have concerns/problems.

*He cares about my wellbeing and only allows me to work three days a week.

*He gives me hugs and kisses when I come home from work. (sometimes i feel like a small child, because he has to kneel down in order to hug and kiss me)

*He’s patient, kind, humble, and very generous.

Thank you for being a good husband, Jason ❤

 

 

 

 

 

this thanksgiving i’m thankful for

I can’t believe Thanksgiving is around the corner! This year has gone by too fast! I’m surprised that I’m still scheduled during this time, last year I was complaining of not getting any work hours at all. I really do enjoy being a PRN nurse and I think any nursing jobs down the road, I’ll position for PRN.

I remember years ago before I met my husband, I had a career driven mindset, full of energy and ambition. After my completion of nursing school with a BSN, I had hoped to work a year or two as a nurse and then go back to school for my master or apply to PA school. I had dreams of traveling, helping people and becoming a missionary nurse in third world countries. But my dreams were not God’s will for me. I worked myself too hard that I forgot to take care of myself and enjoy life. I ended up getting sick and was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. My life tumbled down fast. I was confused and angry at God. I felt like I had my life going full speed for me and suddenly a road blockage and everything crashed. I lost my job, health, health insurance etc. Medical bills were piling up. My family, friends and boyfriend who is now my husband were there to support me. When I was at my lowest I needed God the most and nothing else. I prayed and conversed with God daily through those difficult times. In my heart, I never felt so much peace and calmness than ever before. I looked around me and there were things that I would not have discovered to enjoy if I had focused on the things of my own desires. God surely had a different path and plan for me. He has humbled me, made me whole again, and restored my health. I would not have known that my husband was the one for me if it had not been for these difficult times. God works in mysterious ways that we cannot even fathom.

Even though this happened 5 years ago, I’m reminded to be thankful for life, my husband, family and friends. God has blessed me this far and I know there are even greater things He has in store for me. And even if life decides to take a turn again, I know that God is still with me.