it’s not about us, it’s about Him

Last week I went to get a physical and blood work done and everything was normal. My creatinine level was 0.68, the range is 0.57-1.00 mg/dL. Five years ago, I was dx with an autoimmune disease that attacked my kidneys. I was at a 4.0 when I was hospitalized and my doctor said that I may need a kidney transplant or dialysis if I’m not responding to tx. Looking back I can see God’s work in all of this. If you see me now, you wouldn’t know what I had gone through because I look normal and healthy. I try to use my personal difficulty to encourage those who are going through the difficult time and know that there is a God, and if there seems no way out, let Him in.

I can’t believe we’re in December, it seems like Thanksgiving was just last week. Speaking of Thanksgiving, I had a great time with family and friends. I took some friends fishing on Thanksgiving weekend. One guy has been attending our church regularly and I don’t think he’s a believer yet. He brings his daughter to play with the kids at church. He’d just moved here from Cali and never fished before. My good husband did a good job teaching and making sure everyone is having fun and catching fish. He’s the master of fishing! 🙂 My husband and I had talked before about starting a fishing ministry within our church group and expanding it from there. And this was a good start, I’m glad this guy and another friend went with us and had fun.

I’m half way done with buying Christmas gifts for family members. To be honest, I hate shopping, but it’s once a year that everyone will get presents and on their birthday. I try not to get into the idea that Christmas is about buying new toys, christmas tree, santa clause or reindeer, but to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas–Jesus’ birth. God sent his son so that we may have eternal life. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and Jesus Christ was born to save us from sins. This is the real meaning of Christmas, it’s so profound and important, and I hope that we continue to go into the month of December with this reflection.

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this thanksgiving i’m thankful for

I can’t believe Thanksgiving is around the corner! This year has gone by too fast! I’m surprised that I’m still scheduled during this time, last year I was complaining of not getting any work hours at all. I really do enjoy being a PRN nurse and I think any nursing jobs down the road, I’ll position for PRN.

I remember years ago before I met my husband, I had a career driven mindset, full of energy and ambition. After my completion of nursing school with a BSN, I had hoped to work a year or two as a nurse and then go back to school for my master or apply to PA school. I had dreams of traveling, helping people and becoming a missionary nurse in third world countries. But my dreams were not God’s will for me. I worked myself too hard that I forgot to take care of myself and enjoy life. I ended up getting sick and was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. My life tumbled down fast. I was confused and angry at God. I felt like I had my life going full speed for me and suddenly a road blockage and everything crashed. I lost my job, health, health insurance etc. Medical bills were piling up. My family, friends and boyfriend who is now my husband were there to support me. When I was at my lowest I needed God the most and nothing else. I prayed and conversed with God daily through those difficult times. In my heart, I never felt so much peace and calmness than ever before. I looked around me and there were things that I would not have discovered to enjoy if I had focused on the things of my own desires. God surely had a different path and plan for me. He has humbled me, made me whole again, and restored my health. I would not have known that my husband was the one for me if it had not been for these difficult times. God works in mysterious ways that we cannot even fathom.

Even though this happened 5 years ago, I’m reminded to be thankful for life, my husband, family and friends. God has blessed me this far and I know there are even greater things He has in store for me. And even if life decides to take a turn again, I know that God is still with me.

 

hope for a baby

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My precious nephew was born 7lbs 3oz on 10/18/17. He shares the same birthday as Jason’s older brother, Ben. All he loves to do is eat, sleep, cry and poop.

I wonder sometimes what it would be like to have a baby too. Jason and I want to have one, but it’s not easy. I don’t know if I’m still fertile and my eggs are okay after having undergone several chemo treatments 4 years ago. My menstrual cycle is regular and normal. Still, it doesn’t mean anything. My doctor says that he used the low dose of chemo and it shouldn’t affect me much and that I’m still young.

On the other hand, Jason had a vasectomy in his mid 20s when he decided that he didn’t want to have any children. I must admit, I got on him about his past several times and tried to understand his logic. He says that his mother had mental health problems, and he didn’t want to inherit to his children. He also states that he may have had some psychological problems at the time and made a hasty decision. This was all before his faith wasn’t as strong as today.

So this takes us to where we are now. Last year, Jason had a RV and it failed. This year, he had it done again, and it worked. It’s just a matter of God’s timing now. What gives me hope is knowing many people in the bible struggled with infertility and overcame it through God. There are still some unknown factors that we haven’t sorted it out yet, but for now, we continue to pray that this is God’s will for us too.

 

random updates:

I’m back! I haven’t been writing in here for a while. There have been many good things happened these past months. We thank God for all the blessings.

Jason had an undisclosed surgery done again in May. Thanks God that he did well and recovered from it and that it worked.

We’re still fishing and catching bass.
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We had a baby shower for my brother and sister-in-law in August. They’re due in October, next week! Very exciting!
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God blessed us with a brand new truck in September! We did not expect it. Now we have a reliable and durable vehicle to explore more fishing lakes in NC.
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We had a leak in our garage roof for a year and managed to temporarily patch it for a while. Instead of hiring someone to do it, we took upon ourselves to fix the front and back roof with the volunteering to help from my brother, sister-in-law, and our neighbor Brad, who knows about roofing. Thanks God this big project is done!
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We recently sponsored a child through Compassion International in September, a girl from Ethiopia. Hoping that we can do much more.

Other than that, work is going well and still doing PRN at the same place. My health is good and so is Jason’s. Thanks be to God.